My voice isn't the only thing I've lost

What makes a friend a friend?

This blog may help to explain some of my more recent blogs. I'm currently in the process of losing a very dear friend of mine, due to the choices that said friend has decided to make in their life. I'm not writing this blog for sympathy; because really the worse part of ending a friendship is nearing the end for me (the "mourning period" as someone has described it.) Neither do I want it to reflect any slight on them. This blog is really my way of entering into the next stage- moving on, and learning from this experience so that I don't make the same mistake again... I hope.

Anyway I guess I just need reminding about what a friendship really is, and what, if anything could ever break up a good friendship?

Is friendship trust, and if that trust is broken, then bang! You're no longer friends? If trust is lost then can it ever be rebuilt or does this depend on each and every individual friendship? Or is friendship honesty? Is it when you're honest with each other through thick and thin; when you will support the other when they are right, and tell them when they are wrong? Finally is it just a whole load of expectations we all carry around with us from our friends? That is, expecting all these things from your friend and not really knowing until you come to a certain time in your friendship when you find out if they really are your friend or not.

I think it's the last one. I don't think we ever really do know how far we can trust someone, or how honest we can be with them until it comes to the crunch. A true friend is the one who proves that you can trust them; that they appreciate your honesty; and finally, they will expect the same in return because a friendship is a two-way relationship.

I was looking on the internet for proverbs about friendships, and came across one that perfectly describes how I feel towards my closest friends (you know who you are.)

"Friends are the siblings God never gave us."

Thank God, He sent them to me as friends!

As for the friend that I'm losing, or may already have lost, whether they realise it yet or not, this is for them:

"Time may lead me to nowhere and fate might break me into pieces but I will always be grateful that once in my life's journey we became friends." (Thank you to the person who said this to me, you are and Insha'Allah will always be a part of my journey.)

Anywho ladies and gentlemen, I believe it is now time for me to move on... Next blog: What the heck was Condoleezza Rice thinking going to Blackburn? Talk about making yet another tactical error... Some people never learn.

She LOOKED like the real thing

It amazes me at times to see how low people will go in order to get others to like them. Sometimes it's at the risk of their own dignity, like in the case of David Brent in The Office, or even at the risk of offending others... again, like David Brent in The Office. (I've been watching a lot of The Office recently.)

Somebody interestingly said the other day that one only acts artificially in order to get others to like them. It sounded very playgroundy to me, especially as this person was referring to the actions of one in a University environment where I thought everyone was supposed to be appreciated for their uniqueness- I mean, how could anyone act artificially for that long? Hasn't Big Brother taught us anything? But then upon reflection I realised how true it is of so many people I've met at University. On the other side of the scale there are those who are so stubborn in their ways that they really don't care whether people like them or not. I don't really need to say anything about those sorts of people, because they probably won't care.

I'd like to believe that whenever I act I do so taking everyone, including myself into account. But the truth is that I can be just as selfish as everyone else. We all want to be liked, and sometimes that means forgetting everyone else's feelings and doing whatever is necessary to satisfy everyone's expectations. But can acting like this ever be justified?

Personally I don't think it can. Wanting to please others is a disease that I've seen in way too many people already, and it never ends well. The fact is, we can't please everyone forever. The way I see it, if we're not ourselves then eventually we'll forget who we are. At the same time I believe that we've all got to learn to compromise once-in-a-while. If not for anything else, then at least for the sake of peace. It's about striking the balance- And once you've struck that balance you'll experience the sort of peace with those around you that you'd never have thought was possible in this world.

As for the people who still act artificially, and forget who they are...

Maybe I've been listening to a bit too much Jeff Buckley and Radiohead recently

Perhaps I'm not really in the best frame of mind to be writing a blog at the moment, but it's about time I started speaking up again. I've been quiet for too long ;-)

Yesterday I read about a girl in Luton who lost her battle in the House of Lords for being able to wear the jilbaab (a loose flowing robe-like dress) to school. I have my own personal opinions on the issue, but my blog isn't about that exactly.

To be quite honest, as a hijaabi myself I am completely fed up with the constant media attention which the Islamic dress has been receiving. Don't get me wrong; off course anyone who restricts a person from being able to practice their faith is utter scum, whether it be restricting the way they dress, or whatever. What I, as a Muslim am genuinely concerned about is how Islam is being reduced to a mere physical representation in everyones eyes. The essence of the faith itself is being lost, while the more outward aspects are being emphasised more than necessary.

In fact, while we're on the subject, let me also draw your attention to other tools adopted by the media and politicians in order to distract the audience from asking more in depth questions about Islam, or any other religion for that matter. Time-and-time-again there are news reports where it might be that a Muslim has been involved in a crime, although the fact that they are a Muslim has no connection with their actions or the crime. However, the media still draws the audiences' attention to that little bit of information- that they are a Muslim... why? Anyway, I am currently waiting for the day when the news does not mention the words "Muslim" and "terrorist." Seriously, tell me when that day comes. The fear tactic is a fantastic way in which to stop us lot from asking the "wrong questions." The more uneducated and violent the Muslim community looks, the less anyone wants to know them.

So to sum up: the question of the veil, the Islamic stance on the treatment of women and so forth have all been answered by Muslims and all one has to do is make use of the facilities available to them to find out more. It's time now to start asking the deeper questions; For the longer we focus on the more physical aspects, the further away we get from the more deep-rooted elements of the faith. The further we drift from the truth. "What IS the truth?" I hear you ask. Well to answer that question, I suggest you go and find out...

It's been too long

I'll start blogging properly again soon. At the mo too much is happening with exams/essays etc. to be able to sit back, relax and write. But I have to blog soon as I've got a lot to say, and I need somewhere to say it all. Watch this space. Just keep watching.