This blog may help to explain some of my more recent blogs. I'm currently in the process of losing a very dear friend of mine, due to the choices that said friend has decided to make in their life. I'm not writing this blog for sympathy; because really the worse part of ending a friendship is nearing the end for me (the "mourning period" as someone has described it.) Neither do I want it to reflect any slight on them. This blog is really my way of entering into the next stage- moving on, and learning from this experience so that I don't make the same mistake again... I hope.
Anyway I guess I just need reminding about what a friendship really is, and what, if anything could ever break up a good friendship?
Is friendship trust, and if that trust is broken, then bang! You're no longer friends? If trust is lost then can it ever be rebuilt or does this depend on each and every individual friendship? Or is friendship honesty? Is it when you're honest with each other through thick and thin; when you will support the other when they are right, and tell them when they are wrong? Finally is it just a whole load of expectations we all carry around with us from our friends? That is, expecting all these things from your friend and not really knowing until you come to a certain time in your friendship when you find out if they really are your friend or not.
I think it's the last one. I don't think we ever really do know how far we can trust someone, or how honest we can be with them until it comes to the crunch. A true friend is the one who proves that you can trust them; that they appreciate your honesty; and finally, they will expect the same in return because a friendship is a two-way relationship.
I was looking on the internet for proverbs about friendships, and came across one that perfectly describes how I feel towards my closest friends (you know who you are.)
"Friends are the siblings God never gave us."
Thank God, He sent them to me as friends!
As for the friend that I'm losing, or may already have lost, whether they realise it yet or not, this is for them:
"Time may lead me to nowhere and fate might break me into pieces but I will always be grateful that once in my life's journey we became friends." (Thank you to the person who said this to me, you are and Insha'Allah will always be a part of my journey.)
Anywho ladies and gentlemen, I believe it is now time for me to move on... Next blog: What the heck was Condoleezza Rice thinking going to Blackburn? Talk about making yet another tactical error... Some people never learn.
4 comments:
Life is indeed amazing especially the relationship we have with one another, there are some who can bring a smile to your face and others who can break your heart. yet some who you meet for just 5 minutes yet they can teach you something that can change your life.
In regards to friends, each has there own interpretations of what makes a good one, personally i have very good friends yet they are not the people i speak or see daily, monthly or even annually.(yes, me as a friend is unfortunate to be a lousy one)
But from this, although i have not delved deeply as you have so do forgive me, i realise one thing, something that i have tried to learn from and that is:
Choose not a friendship based in this world but one that will take you to the hereafter with success
and from this i learn, A friend of this world will cease to be but the one of the life after is eternal.
I apologise for using you space like this, but i also ask my friends to forgive me that i have not been able to be that friend to them
tc
Yes, sometimes I think we can forget the power and impact we can have on one-another. As you said, "some who you meet for just five minutes ... can teach you something that can change your life." In fact ironically you, as well as another conversation I had a few days ago may have just inspired me to write my next blog.
As far as friendships are concerned, I agree that each friendship differs. A lot of what I said in my blog just reflects the sort of friendship I used to have with the person I was refering to as well as now the majority of other friendships I've formed in the past two years.
Your comments have been much appreciated :-)
moving on is hard, for sure.
when i look back at all the people who have touched my life but are no longer major players in my life, i try to think of them as angels that Allah (SWT) sent me because i needed them at that time. even if they couldn't stay, i appreciated them for being there while they could.
hopefully knowing that your friend helped you in your time of need (and vice versa) will make the goodbye process a little less bitter and a little more sweet...
I feel a little used :-(
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